If you are a fan of Tyler Perry then you know the movie Why Did I Get Married? The movie explores the relationship between 4 couples and is told from both the husbands and wives perspective. Each couple had their set of issues and Tyler Perry shows how they each handled the problems in their relationships. Ultimately, the issues that arose had the couples wonder Why Did They Get Married?
All of these issues at some point made me question Why Did I Get Married? Oh, and if you ask my husband he would tell you he thought the same.
The past 5 years have been ROUGH to say the least. There were times when I didn’t think our marriage would survive. There were times in our marriage when prayer and hope were the only things I had. However, even in the rough times I can see there were hidden blessings.
So Why Did I Get Married?
When we took our vows I said them and I meant them. But I didn’t feel them because our relationship was new with no roots. When I met my husband I wanted a partner, someone to go through life with. And that’s exactly what I got. However, in order to develop this partnership we had to go through things and remove all of the grit and dirt. We had to shed our oneness and grow into togetherness. And that’s no easy feat for two only children! In order to get to that point is hard. If you want a real partner in crime, it takes work. I’m thankful because overtime we’ve grown into a deep partnership that I’m forever grateful for. Not to mention my husband has grown into my best friend.
To Become More Holy
I remember listening to the radio and the host said the purpose of marriage “isn’t to just be with someone it’s to become more Holy”. Now, if you take the religious aspect out of it, it makes perfect sense. If we let our marriage mold us and if we let down our guards to our partner, there remains the raw true you. At that time your spouse becomes a mirror revealing all of your flaws. And sometimes the reflection isn’t so pretty. Once, we go through the process of seeing ourselves for who we truly are, only then can we start to build back up into a better person. Needless to say, this process hurt for me. OUCH! I had to work on myself constantly and it wasn’t easy looking in the mirror and realizing I needed to change. There were times when I had to actually admit I was wrong! GASP! LOL.
Someone to Celebrate With
This could kind of go with partnership, but it’s a little different. I’ve talked about the hardships of marriage, and unfortunately those are the times when some marriages fail. I’ve talked about the ugliness of developing into a better person, which is great, but some married couples don’t appreciate the positive changes their spouses are making. So it really means something that I have someone who I can celebrate with and he is REALLY REALLY excited about it. Like when I told my husband about my blog, he was so happy for me. He even helped me come up with blog topics (some of his ideas have become my most popular post). Or the time I lost 4 lbs. He was so happy for me and encouraged me. He saw the fight, the struggle and the hard work I put in behind the scenes so he gets it. He is always ready to cheer me on and celebrate my minor successes. We also get to celebrate our accomplishments as a couple. Having him to celebrate with makes my life so much richer.
Remembering Why You Got Married
I don’t have any profound statements for my conclusion. I think I just need to remember why I got married, even in the tough times and in the good times. Remembering is sometimes the most powerful tool that we have in marriage.