8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
I entered the hospital just like those women in the movie. I was moaning loudly and breathing heavily. My husband rushed to park the car with our daughter, while my son and I waited in the entrance way of the hospital. This is not how I pictured my labor and delivery going. Though I was in a lot of pain, it was going better than I expected. But that is how God works, we have our own scenarios and plans, and He has His. His ALWAYS work out so much better than we could ever imagine.
My belly the day I went into labor
My pregnancy with Sugar Bee was easy, there was nothing out of sorts. However, the events that happened during my pregnancy were anything but easy. Not only did we not have family there to watch the kids, for when I went into labor. One of our loved ones died tragically in a car accident when I was five months pregnant.
Our loved one usually flew out to be with us as soon as they knew I was in labor. That was a big deal during my recovery because I knew that my children would be in good care. So not only were we grieving, we didn’t know what to do about childcare arrangements.
If we couldn’t find someone then I would have to give birth alone. Though it saddened my heart, I accepted that it would more than likely be my reality. At that point, it didn’t really matter, because after losing our loved one, I felt very alone anyways.
C-Section or VBAC?
I could have just scheduled a c-section. If I did that I could ensure that my husband and Mother-in-Law would be there. My kids would be looked after and taken care of. Even if my husband’s job sent him to Germany (which they were trying to do around my due date), I could have comfort that my Mother-In-Law would be there.
My mind was riddled with so many worries, and I would stay up at night running different scenarios through my head. At this point, I was uncertain a VBAC would even happen. During the last few weeks of my pregnancy, my baby kept floating up and moving. My doctor offered me a c-section during my 38-week appointment. Though I was very close to saying yes, I turned it down because it meant a lot to me to have a VBAC.
There was no way I would be able to recover from my VBAC and care for my children once my husband returned to work and Mother-In-Law went back home. Each night I prayed for the Lord to work things out, but I had very little faith at the time. After losing such a close family member, my faith in God had been shaken. I didn’t believe He would work it out.
I made arrangements for two people to watch the kids when I went into labor. Though my husband and I husband weren’t completely comfortable with it, we had to do what we had to do. However, I told him to not worry about me. I can have the baby alone if need be.
My body was having early labor signs for a couple of days but nothing would progress. I started to not only doubt God but my body as well. Since my last VBAC was induced by Pitocin after my water broke, I didn’t know if my body would even go into labor on its own.
I also wanted a Doula, because I had one during my son’s labor and delivery, and I fully credit her for the success of my VBAC. However, with everything that was going on I didn’t have time to find a doula.
Labor and Delivery
I went to the hospital early one morning because I was getting very painful contractions. However, after getting checked and monitored nothing was happening. I was informed that I was losing my mucus plug, and that really gave me hope that a VBAC might be possible.
When I got home from the hospital my husband went to work and continued my day as usual. My contractions were one every hour and they were pretty painful. By the time my husband came home they slowed a bit, but when I went to bed they picked back up. I was unsure if it was the real deal so I waited for a little, that was until I was hit with a very painful contraction. At this point, my contractions were 10-5 minutes apart.
There was no time to call anyone, also it was 11:00 pm and I doubt any of my backups were willing to watch the kids. So we all hopped in the car and drove to the hospital. My contractions grew even stronger on the ride to the hospital. I moaned and groaned the way there.
The Hosptial Arrival
When we arrived at the hospital my husband parked in the ER entrance, got out and got me a wheelchair, then wheeled me into the ER waiting room. My son sat on my lap the whole time. The nurse kept asking questions but I couldn’t answer them. She called someone down to wheel me up to labor and delivery. My husband and our daughter finally came in and we all went up to L&D.
When I came in I was greeted by a petite nurse named Heather. She had shoulder length brown hair. She grabbed me a robe and lead me to the bed. All of the nurses left the room while I changed and when they came back I was having a contraction. In between contractions nurse Heather made small talk with me. She made me feel so comfortable. I wasn’t surprised because nurses (or at least the ones that I’ve had) had a way of making people feel like everything was going to be okay.
Every time I had a contraction nurse Heather would grab my hand and I would squeeze it. Honestly, I thought I might break her tiny delicate hand, but she reassured me that it was okay. The contractions came over me like waves, and each time she would rush to my side and whisper “you are doing great”. Those kind words helped me get through the contractions.
After laboring for awhile I was allowed to get an epidural. However, it didn’t work. I was riddled with fear of having a natural childbirth. I told nurse Heather I was scared. She said, “you’ve come this far, you can do it”. After I cried to my husband I accepted that a natural birth was about to happen.
As I continued to labor Heather was by my side. Her presence gave me comfort and reassurance. When it was time to push she was the first to come by my side. She rubbed my shoulder as I screamed and pushed my baby girl out with one push. The delivery happened so fast my kids didn’t have time to leave the room. They witnessed the whole thing!
My husband had to take the children home. So I was alone just a few moments after Sugar Bee’s birth. After I delivered my little girl, nurse Heather took pictures of the baby for me. I thanked her because I wasn’t going to because I was so tired.
She helped me clean up and led me to the bathroom, and another nurse made a snide comment about how big of a mess I was making. While nurse Heather held my arm she responded to the other nurse “don’t worry about what we are doing, she is fine, we will get it cleaned up”.
After I got cleaned up, nurse Heather informed me I was going to the recovery wing to be with my baby. I thanked her over and over again for her support and kind words, and she graciously said: “you are welcome”.
Who Was She?
I was in baby bliss after my delivery. I thanked God for letting me have a quick labor, for not needing a babysitter, my VBAC, a healthy baby, and nurse Heather. Her encouraging words and kindness really helped give me the strength I needed to get through my natural delivery.
As I sat with my new baby, a head nurse came into my room to ask me about my experience at the hospital. It was routine at this particular hospital because they really cared about their patients. I told her about how things went, and then she asked would if I would like to give anyone special recognition.
I excitedly said “Yes! I would like to acknowledge nurse Heather”. The head nurse cocked her head to the side and said, “hmmm…”. I was really confused by her response. “We don’t have a nurse in labor and delivery by that name. I felt so embarrassed when she said because I had been calling her the wrong name the whole time! “What did she look like”? the head nurse asked.
I described nurse Heather to her. I could tell by her face that she was still drawing a blank. I thought it was weird that she didn’t know what the nurses were on the staff looked. I continued to describe her, and she said that she would look into it, but there is no nurse there by that name or looked like her.
I thought maybe nurse Heather came from another part of the hospital to work in labor and delivery, hence why the head nurse didn’t know who she was.
When I got home I asked my husband did he remember Heather and he said no. I kept going on and on about how she helped me and he still didn’t remember who she was.
I still don’t know if nurse Heather was real or an Angel, but either way, she was a blessing to me. During a time in my life when my hope and faith was low, the whole experience helped me regain my faith in God. It also reminded me he is in control.
God worked out all of the details of my birth perfectly. He was so gracious enough to send a person to me to be by my side. I’m forever grateful for the whole experience.