Healing Mama Remedies is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.
When we enter into marriage we aren’t just marrying our husbands, we are also marrying their family. I really wasn’t for sure what to expect when I first married my husband. My mother was my best-friend and I talked to her about everything. However, shortly after we married my mother passed away. Though my mother was gone, I still had the need to have a mother figure connection. That’s when I started getting closer to my mother-in-law. I constantly compared her to my mother (which was unfair), and I quickly learned that our relationship needed to develop it’s own bond. However, I wasn’t quite sure how to approach the relationship. I feel these tips below really helped us develop a relationship.
Even if you don’t get along with your mother-in-law these tips can help improve the relationship. Here are some tips on how to get along with your mother-in-law.
How To Get Along With Your Mother-In-Law
1. Find out about what drives her
I know it’s not your job to be a psychologist, but really study her. Find out her likes, passions, and life history. If you really analyze her past you will be able to connect the dots and see why she behaves a certain way.
2. Empathize with her
This isn’t always easy because I’m sure at some point she has challenged your parenting skills and over stepped her boundaries. However, unless she is a truly evil person (which most seem that way but they aren’t) try to look beyond what you feel. Try to empathize with her. Find that tender spot in your heart. It doesn’t mean you are giving in or backing down. It just means you are looking at her from an outside perspective.
3. Understanding the Dynamic
Every MIL and son have a certain dynamic. There will be times when you won’t be able to break that dynamic. Respect your MIL and husbands dynamic. This can be tricky because their dynamic can effect your marriage. When it get’s to that point tell your spouse how it is affecting your marriage. Try to sit down and talk about how to resolve the issues.
4. Stand up for yourself
It’s no secret most MIL’s push their boundaries. They can be overly critical and judgmental. Most MIL’s think that they can do everything better then their Daughter-In-Law. During those times, kindly let her know that you can handle the situation. Show confidence in your mothering. Most of the time, this helps them realize they need to back off.
5. Let it roll off your back
There will be times when your MIL says something to make you angry. And there are times when you don’t have to react to everything she says and does. You will have to let certain things slide. Don’t dwell on what she has said or done to you. If you do that you will constantly resent her. Focus on yourself and your family. Don’t take everything she says personally (even if it is personal).
6. Keep her out of your personal life
This is probably the best advice I can offer. Don’t tell her personal details about your marriage. She doesn’t need to know the ends and outs of your marriage. Keeping a healthy distance helps reduce conflict.
7. When all else fails
Now, I understand that these tips may not work because, some MIL’s are well…CRAZY. In that situation I would just not engage with her. I would tell my husband how I feel, and why I’m not interacting with her. I would only interact with her when necessary. As long as she isn’t disrespecting you, always be kind during interactions.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links.