I remember when me and my husband got married. Everyone’s words of advice were to NEVER EVER talk to other’s about our marital issues. That stuck with me during our first year of marriage. I thought “I can handle whatever problems arise in our marriage”. And I actually did pretty good at handling all of the issues. You know the tiny stuff newly married couple’s argue about.
We decided to see a marriage counselor. When we told our family members most said “you don’t need to see a counselor, that’s not how we handle marital problems”. At first I started to feel shame. However, I soon realized that if we wanted this marriage to work, we were going to have to put in work. There shouldn’t be shame in that.
- Outside perspective. It’s great to get support from close friends and relatives. However, a lot of times their views will be biased. It always good to get insight from someone who is removed from the situation. They can offer a balanced perspective of the whole situation.
- Support. During the first 6 months of our marriage, I didn’t feel like I had much support. I felt very alone in our issues. Of course that probably wasn’t the reality, but when a couple is facing challenging times it can feel very isolating. Counselor’s can offer that support. They can also teach how to find a great support network.
- New Insight. When we started seeing the marriage counselor both my husband and I were guilty of doing things that were harmful to our marriage. Our marriage counselor helped us realize that. He gave us a new insight as to why we did the things we did.
- Strategy. What I loved most about seeing the marriage counselor was that he provided us, with strategies that would help us improve our marriage. He gave us different techniques to use when dealing with certain situations. They proved to be very effective.
- Deep Intimacy. Our sessions helped us get a deeper understanding of each other. With this deeper understanding, came greater intimacy. We got to see a vulnerable side of each other. It wasn’t always easy to get to those points, but it helped us grow closer together.
I hope to remove some of the negative stigma that is associated with marriage counseling. I hope this post helps someone who is facing a similar situation.