The first thing on my New Year New Momma checklist is loving myself. I’ve talked a little about it here. It’s something I’ve struggle with my whole life. However, I want to start making a change. I don’t want to continue in this pattern my whole life. Not only is it not productive but I have kids that look up to me now.
I discovered a lot of my self-love issues come from trying to live up unrealistic expectations. It’s only gotten worse since becoming a mother. Let’s be honest it’s hard not to compare yourself to another mother. Also, there are highly critical people in my life , and I felt I needed to live up to their expectations as well. These are just a few reasons why I lack self-love.
After, going over “why’s” let’s get to the solution. Here are the steps I’m going to take to help me love myself.
- Continue to discover what I love. I’ve mentioned it time and time again, but lifting and blogging have changed my life. They provide me with an outlet and gratification that I can’t get anywhere else. However, I want to explore other activities. That’s the beauty of life you can do and try so many different things. I want to make a family scrap-book. I want to start olympic lifting, and open my own business. Yoga has also been on my list of things to start doing as well. These are just a few activities I want to pursue. I think by doing this, it will help me discover who I am and be more confident.
- I don’t have to be perfect. There is no such thing as perfect, there is only “doing my best”. I’m going to let go of the notion that I need to perfect. I don’t need to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect friend. The only thing I can do it my best, and be sincere in my efforts. I need to be okay with the fact that it’s not going to please everyone. However, for mental state I must do it.
- Giving myself permission. MOPS had a yoga class and the instructor said “you don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. I give you permission to let go. Be gentle with yourself like you are gentle with others”. I exhaled as she spoke, and I knew she was right. I need to give myself permission to have off days. It doesn’t mean that I’m a failure, it just means that I’m being gentle with myself. If I’m too tired to take the kids to the park, that’s okay, we just won’t go. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad mother because I didn’t do an activity with them that day.
- Speak kind words to myself. I’m going to replace the word “fat” with “strong”. I’m going to look in the mirror and point out all of the things I like about myself. But like my friend Irina from Homegrown Adventures said, it’s much deeper than that. Beyond appearance what do I like about myself? I love that I’m easy to talk to and a good listener. I like that I’m a goal oriented person. I like that I can be vulnerable. It’s great being human because we aren’t one-dimensional and there is beauty in that.