Finances, Life, Motherhood, Self Care

Being A Stay At Home Mom Is Not A Death Sentence For Your Dreams and Goals

being stay at home mom

When I first met my husband becoming a stay at home mom NEVER crossed my mind.  My plan was to go back to work after I had Honey Bee and continue to pursue my “career”.  I put career in quotes because my job at the time was just that, a  job. It wasn’t something that I saw myself doing for the rest of my life.  I was a financial planner for a college in Ohio.  I graduated with a degree in Psychology, so I wasn’t even working in my field.

Though I wasn’t passionate about my job as a Financial Planner, I still didn’t know what I wanted to do.  All I know is I wanted to work with people and help better the community.

Shortly after becoming pregnant I got laid off from my job.  In all honesty I felt a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders.  My job was very stressful and I was constantly in fear of my job status. It seemed everyday somebody was getting laid off.  My lay off lead to me being a stay at home mom and the rest is history.

Being A Stay At Home Mom Is Not A Death Sentence For Your Dreams And Goals

Okay, I’m guilty of feeling this way when I first become a stay at home mom.  I had no idea what I was doing, and most of my days had no direction.  I kind of resented being a stay at home mom because I thought it meant I had to put an end to all of my hopes and dreams.  At that point my identity was “just a mom” and I wasn’t satisfied with that.  I wallowed in sadness for awhile, and acted like a pitiful puppy.  This lasted for about 8 months after my Honey Bee was born.

After I got over myself I realized that I could use my time as a stay at home mom in a productive manner.  Being a stay at home mom meant that I had time to invest in my future goals and endeavors.

Using Your Time As A Stay At Home Mom Wisely

  • Find out what your passions and goals are:  I began to explore different ideas and passions that I had.  I went through 2-3 ideas that I loved and eventually landed on the one passion I decided to pursue.
  • Set goals to help you:  After I found out what I wanted to do, I began to set goals.  I set small doable goals that I could do while raising my children, and these small goals are going to eventually lead to one big goal.
  • Find out ways nurture your dreams and goals:  This was a tough one for me.  Because what I wanted to do required money.  In order for me to be able to get further I needed to go back to school.  I was not interested in taking out more student loans so I needed a realistic way to get more education but without spending a ton of money.  I eventually found a scholarship that paid for 85% of the education I needed.  And actually that worked out perfectly because I only needed 18 credit hours to be qualified for what I wanted to do!  The scholarship covered the 18 credit hours!  I also found that my state offered free online trainings that could be counted towards my credentials.   Now this all didn’t happen over night.  It took a lot of researching, calling around, and asking people! My suggestion is to first start with community resources if you are having trouble finding out how to nurture your goals.  Also, reading and books are another great free source for  knowledge.


It’s all about timing and patience

I’m a very impatient person.  I want what I want when I want it. Once I acquired my credentials, knowledge of the business, and business  plan I wanted to start right then.  Yeah, I realized as a stay at home mom that was impossible.  It’s all about timing.  My kids are still young, and where we are currently stationed won’t allow for me to start my business.  That’s alright.  I’m still educating myself daily. I understand that there is my time to do things, then there’s the RIGHT TIME to do things.  I’d rather wait on the right time.

being a stay at home mom

Keeping The Fire Lit

It’s very easy to get deterred doing the waiting process.  My word of advice is don’t get discouraged.  I know there were times when I wanted to give up because things weren’t happening on my time.  I started the resentment process all over again.  But then I realized success first comes from investing in the people I loved (God, myself, my husband and children).  If I couldn’t commit to my family first then how could I commit to a future business?


There Was One Thing I Had To Let Die

I had to let my pride and ego die before I could start the process of pursuing my dreams and goals.  For so long I let my career and job status define my worth as women and a mother. However, I found out that relying on those things was unstable because job security and status is a fickle thing.  I started grounding my self identity it other things.  Such as my personality qualities, my strengths, and even my weaknesses.  Once I let my pride go and die, then a new me emerged; a woman that was more self assured and knew exactly what I wanted out of life.

I really hope this post helps a stay at mom who is searching for their calling in life.


19 thoughts on “Being A Stay At Home Mom Is Not A Death Sentence For Your Dreams and Goals

  1. Oh my goodness, I love this so much! When you first become a SAHM it’s so easy to believe that it’s your entire identity, and you get lost a little. It’s a shock, and I don’t think anyone expects this. So thank you for putting this out there, I hope this helps other moms in the same situation.

  2. So inspiring!! Yes, hopes and dreams and goals come in many formats and we can always be pursuing something even if it isn’t in the conventional sense. I’m sad to hear you can’t start the business where you’re currently stationed, but I hope it works out soon cause I’m curious to hear about it.

  3. I loved this post! I lived through my beginning SAHM days while reading it. And your scholarship story is very inspiring. I love your positive outlook a lot. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Even though being a SAHM was pretty much all I ever wanted to do, when I finally became one I had serious second thoughts. 🙂 Now I’ve been at home full-time for almost 8 years and love it. Thanks for your honesty and for including those helpful tips to use your time wisely, Nikki!

  5. What a great post! I just love your writing! I’m so glad that you found the sweet spot while being a stay-at-home mom. It’s not for everyone and that’s fine too. Although I absolutely love it (when I don’t hate it). It’s funny, my mom was a stay-at-home mom and always felt ashamed, like she was just a stay-at-home mom. Where I feel so lucky to be able to be a stay-at-home mom that I’m very proud of the label. My husband and I have taken many cuts financially in order to have me stay home and I’m so grateful to him. I love your tips too! They were spot on. 🙂

  6. I also got laid off half way through my first pregnancy, and was relieved. My career had always been my identity, so it was very hard for me to be a stay at home mom. Then I found blogging, and it has been the best thing for my self esteem.

    1. Hello Sahvana! Thank you for stopping by. I agree blogging has been the best outlet for me. I gives me a sense of accomplishment and I’m also so lucky to have met so many wonderful women!

  7. I love being a stay at home mom and this is all I’ve ever wanted to do. Being a stay at home mom does not mean we stay at home mom don’t have our own goals, ideas, and passions. It is so good to plan our days right. I keep myself busy by homeschooling, blogging, creating, writing to pen pals, and coming up with activities to do with children. When the children will grow up I’ll work with my husband on his window company. The years fly by so fast and before we know it kids will be out of the house. Everyone I’ve ever talked to say this is the best years of their lives.

    1. I agree the years go by so fast. I wish that I had your attitude when I first became a stay-at-home mom. Now I see my daughter and I’m so grateful that I got to spend 5 years with her at home. I’m so proud of the little girl she has become.

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