Recently life has taken a few unexpected turns, good for the most part. We have moved closer to home, and that has presented a set of challenges I didn’t expect. One challenge is the nagging feeling that I’m being constantly judged for my parenting style. If you are a mother, you’ve probably dealt with this issue too. Getting snide remarks from family members about how they would do things. Or odd glances when you don’t handle a situation with your kids the way they would. This is my reality right now.
After parenting with no help for the past 5-6 years (and by little I mean my husband and I had no help from friends or family), I’ve developed my own way of handling my children. We’ve developed a system that works for us. So it is a bit hard to adjust when others close to us, give me their opinion of how I should parent.
Long ago when I was a new mother. I was so worried about doing everything just right. After all, I was taking care of a tiny human being. I didn’t have much guidance.During the times when I did reach out to a certain family member, I was harshly criticized for the choices I made. This led me to feel very insecure about my parenting skills. That insecurity grew when I would talk to this particular family member. Over time, I realized I needed to distance myself from that person.
Pushed Out of My Comfort Zone
I had the support of my husband, and honestly, that was all I needed. My husband and I learned to work as a team. He backed me up and I backed him up, and that helped my insecurities about parenting go away.
I also forced myself out of my comfort zone. I constantly did activities and outings with the kids. Sometimes it was a mess, however, I didn’t let it stress me. I didn’t let a few bad outings define my parenting as a whole. With each outing, I grew more confident in my capabilities as a mother.
God Gives Me The Ability
Before my babies were born, God knew I would be their mother. He knew my flaws and imperfections. He also knew my strengths and the qualities that would make me a great mom.
God equipped me with everything that I needed to be a good mom for my kids! My relationship with God helped me dig deep within myself to pull out qualities to help me parent my kids. Once I realized this, my life as a mother became a lot easier.
Why Perfection is Boring
Let me tell you why I no longer seek perfection as a mother. Perfection doesn’t bring forth the best in people. If I was the perfect mom, my kids and I would never know what it’s like to experience grace. I give them grace and they give me grace on bad days. Experiencing grace has helped us develop an appreciation for one another.
Perfection doesn’t get results. My mother’s imperfections pushed me to make wiser decisions in certain areas of my life. Essentially her imperfections made me a better person. I’m sure my imperfections will do the same for my kids.
Also, perfection is not the goal of motherhood. Raising healthy, independent, productive members of society is the goal.
Go Ahead and Judge Me
Yes, that’s right. The person I’m referring to can go ahead a judge me as a mom. I choose not to be shackled down by their opinions. I mean after all, who are they to judge me? Their opinions only have as much power as I give them.
I’m not saying I won’t take helpful advice, but I won’t let another person’s opinions dictate how I feel about myself as a mother.
You Know What Is Best
I believe with all of my heart that every parent knows what is best for THEIR CHILD. No two children are alike and no two families are alike. I also believe that most parents are trying to do their best (including me). That means there will be some parenting wins and some parenting fails. It is all a learning and growing process.